Sir 3:2-6, 12-14; Col 3:12-21; Lk 2:11-40
An old man in his late eighties was brought by his only son to stay with him and his family after the death of his wife. Being old and frail he didn’t have the best table manners as he would often break the glass cups and plates on account of his shaky hands. The mess was always embarrassing especially when they had visitors. When his son and the wife could no longer entertain the inexorable breakages and embarrassment, they decided to buy wooden cups and plates for him and also provided a small table for him where he will be by himself separate from other members of the family.
Day after day the old man will be by himself at one end while his son and other members of his family would occupy the main dining table eating and sharing jokes. The old man’s grandson was however thinking seriously about the situation over and over again. One day his father saw him struggling with a piece of wood in an effort to carve out something. Curiously the father asked him what he was doing and he said that he is trying to fashion two wooden plates which he will give to his
dad and mum to use for their meals when they get old. The little boy continued his work after giving his response. The little boy’s response struck his dad and mum like thunder. That evening they brought the old man back to the main table to share the meal with others. He was radiant and excited and his hands were noticeably stronger as he neither made a mess nor break anything. The next day, the family discovered that the old man died peacefully in his sleep.
Today being the Feast of the Holy Family we are all invited to take some time and reflect on the nature and drive of faith within our families. The family remains the basic unit of the human society as well as our early learning centre. Just like we say that charity begins at home so are also other things that are evil. Faith or fear; trust or distrust are all elements that have roots in the family. The way and manner a family is committed to God in faith determines what they get and how their life would run its course.
Many families in the world today are facing a lot of challenges. These challenges come in various ways, shapes and sizes. Some families have been divided into several pieces on account of these challenges because oftentimes people face the wrong direction when problems come upon them. The truth we must accept is that there is no perfect family in the world. There is also no family without one form of trial or the other; of course without a test of our faith there would not be a testimony.
Pope Francis captures this state of our families perfectly when he noted that:
There is no perfect family. We have no perfect parents, we are not perfect, do not get married to a perfect person, neither do we have perfect children. We have complaints about each other. We are disappointed by one another. Therefore, there is no healthy marriage or healthy family without the exercise of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is vital to our emotional health and spiritual survival. Without forgiveness the family becomes a theater of conflict and a bastion of grievances. Without forgiveness the family becomes sick. Forgiveness is the sterilization of the soul, cleansing the mind and the liberation of the heart.
Anyone who does not forgive has no peace of soul and communion with God. Pain is a poison that intoxicates and kills. Maintaining a wound of the heart is a self-destructive action. It is an autophagy. He who does not forgive sickens physically, emotionally and spiritually. That is why the family must be a place of life and not of death; an enclave of cure not of disease; a stage of forgiveness and not of guilt. Forgiveness brings joy where sorrow produced pain; and healing, where pain caused disease."
Abraham and Sarah had their own period of family agony when no child was forth-coming in spite of the promises of God to Abraham which included but not restricted to making him the father of a great nation. They were not discouraged, they continued to wait and trust in God with faith, unlike many of us today who would run to some worthless directions for assistance. Mary and Joseph had their times of trials but they kept their faith in God alive. When they had nowhere to stay for the birth of their child God provided a manger, when Herod wanted to kill the infant Jesus God took them to Egypt, when the child Jesus got missing God directed them to the temple where he was found. When Jesus was arrested, beaten and executed, God provided a resurrection on the third day.
Faith is the flame each family needs to fan at this point in time. Christmas is a celebration of God’s faithfulness to His promises to us and we are expected to celebrate it with faith starting from our various families. The family is seriously at risk at this point in time with the challenges of the modern times. It is the devil’s plan to destroy the world starting with the family. There is need for every family to cultivate deep commitment to God through fervent prayers. Prayer has a way of turning a house into a home and when a family stops praying it starts perishing.
We all need to be at the service of each other and supporting each other in our families. This is the time to pull down the walls of enmity, separation and division that has been the causes of our failures all these while. There is need for every family to be reconstructed and renewed. This is the time for forgiveness because there is not future without forgiveness.
As we celebrate the feast of the Holy Family, let us also remember that our family needs to become holy. To be holy as a family has to do with having God at the centre of our lives, listening to Him, believing in Him and doing His will at all times like we saw with Abraham and the family of Nazareth. Making our families holy is a matter of not giving the devil an opportunity to come and bring about destruction in our families (I Peter 5:8).
Today, the various families in the world are called upon to reflect the values that formed the foreground of the Holy Family of Nazareth. Our families need to be hallowed especially in a world like ours that is overwhelmed by so much profanity. We need to set our families on the part of holiness not by how many times we attend masses or other devotions but on how often we are able to love, forgive, assist, and bear with one another. There is every truth in the fact that the easiest way to destroy the world is to destroy families. This is actually the tactics of the devil and those who are knowledgeable in the things of the spirit are attentive to this and work against it.
This feast of the Holy Family comes at the right time for families to gather together and revamp their structure in order to make a fresh and more reintegrating beginning as the New Year draws near. This is an auspicious time for families to take some time to evaluate their strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and challenges. This will be a time to accept our mistakes, make amends and work towards a better and more rewarding life in the family. Whichever family you find yourself is divinely willed; it is not by accident that you are a member of your family. There is a purpose for your being where you are now. Some people waste their lives blaming their families for the ill situations in their lives. Thus, cursing the darkness instead of bringing in a light. Though your family background may not be good enough, but your background has no right to keep your back on the ground.
As we celebrate the feast of the Holy Family let us make effort to imbibe those undying virtues that hallowed the little family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. We don’t actually need have large family members in order to have God at the centre of our family life. Just like the family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph our families can become hallowed through our commitment and attention to God in faith, hope and love for God and each other. To achieve a holy family be conscious of these:
You must love or you lose.
You must have patience or you have pains.
You must understand yourselves or you cannot withstand each other.
You must celebrate each other not just tolerate each other.
You must enjoy each other not just endure each other.
You must pray together in order to live (not just stay) together.
You must grow together or you grow apart.
You must maintain peace or you tore into pieces.
You must give or you will never receive.
Have a blissful celebration of the Holy Family.
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